Retirement, Take 2

Goodness. The last time I wrote a blog entry it was late 2009, and I was about to retire. Time, perhaps for a look back at my first five years of retirement and a few musings about future plans. Then, hopefully, I will stay with this blog, as I always enjoyed writing and posting entries.  So here goes…the latest new beginning…

Retirement started with a huge bang when long-time friend E. and I spent 7 weeks touring New Zealand and Australia in the spring of 2010, traveling mostly on our own. Both countries are spectacular and I would return to either in a heartbeat. That heartbeat would need to include a sizable cash infusion, though, for another such trip to be possible. Still, our journey was a carefree, joyous, memorable, and altogether wonderful experience. We even ended our trip still friends, which does not always happen after sharing close quarters for so long.

Then what? Alas, I made the classic rookie retiree’s mistake, and took on more volunteer “opportunities” than I could handle with either good cheer or much grace. It has taken four years for some of the last and most time-consuming ones to wind down, which is much too long to remain enthusiastic about volunteer jobs for which one did not actually volunteer. This is one of those life lessons I have had to experience several times to finally, I pray, learn to get right. My brother and a friend had the identical inspiration last year, when they gave me napkins and a coffee mug, both emblazoned with the plea, “Please stop me before I volunteer again!” Oh, don’t misunderstand. Volunteering is a good thing. It's the part about learning when to say no that trips me up.

But at last, freedom from any serious responsibility has risen on the horizon and, with it, a new life plan. What to do with this opportunity? I still want to learn to play both mountain and hammered dulcimer, and have scheduled my first lesson. I have started making some new jewelry pieces, too, which is always an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. There is something deliciously childlike in trying different color and shape combinations — almost like being 5 years old again and experimenting with a new box of crayons. Finding the right one still makes me smile. Are there more hobbies and interests? Oh yes, always, from reading to research. The problem here is not wondering how to fill the hours, but fitting all I want to do into any one day.

In addition, “The Great Purge” is underway in my house, as I prepare for a massive downsizing and move to a permanent retirement home next year. The dulcimer and jewelry are fun; the move is essential. Both will take me in new directions and lead to new friends and fresh opportunities. This is all good.

A much earlier blog entry was on the subject of letting go, as I prepared to sell my cherished yellow roadster. So here is the good news that I am discovering: the more you let go, the easier it is to let go of more; the more you discard, the freer you become. I know -- we’ve all read that somewhere else -- or more likely, many times in many articles, or heard it from others who took that advice to heart and walked before us the path of release from possessions. This time I am paying attention, and it’s OK, really. I am learning to dial back the memories and the guilt, and to make more rational decisions about what to keep. 

Is this retirement and reinvention, take 2? It certainly looks like it -- and I am more than ready to wend my way down this path and find out.

The Retirement Countdown

Ahhhhh, retirement. You know... the lovely nirvana, just over the hill, that most of us are so anxious to reach. The luxury of sleeping until you wake on your own... more time to spend with family and friends... or to travel... or to volunteer, to learn something new... or to work on projects long delayed. AND a guaranteed income. Oh joy! And soon it will be mine. I am less than twelve weeks from full retirement, and already suffering from a bad case of short-timers' attitude.

My friends and neighbors who are still years from retirement are a tad jealous. How do I know this? Because never, since I was pregnant for the first time, have I received so many well-intentioned but useless suggestions. A typical example: "Oh! You don't want to retire, do you? People who retire grow old very quickly. Surely you want to keep working so you don't just sit around. I couldn't stand to do that."

Yeah, right.

And just that quickly, I am reminded that I am, absolutely, my father's daughter. That man had more hobbies and interests than you can imagine, and I am very much the same. Dad decided to retire as soon as he was eligible, at age 62. Mother was incensed; she nagged and nagged him to reconsider, providing many of the same supposedly helpful comments I have heard recently. Finally, exasperated, he looked at her and said, "My father died at age 65. I don't know what my future holds, but I plan to have some fun before I go." Never nonplussed for long, Mother switched tactics: "You are in excellent health. You're going to live another 25 years, just as your mother did. Why retire now?" I don't think Mother objected to the idea of retirement as much as she did to the fact that she did not make the decision.

Dad never wavered. Mom got over her snit. He retired at 62 and they enjoyed several wonderful years of carefree travel and fun. How does the story end? When he was 64, Dad was diagnosed with cancer. He lived another 9 years, but many of them were not pleasant. And Mom died at age 70, the same year Dad died. Do I have to say it? Father knows best. (OK, unless you are well past 50, you didn't get that one...)

So here I am at age 65, blessed with good health and stamina, and not a fool. I'm ready to go and play. And, darn it, I'm going to start before 2009 has ended. My brother and I are considering a Christmas trip... maybe in Paris and along the Seine.

I'm ready to visit my family and friends, stay up late, learn to play the hammered dulcimer (yes, all over again), make jewelry and plenty more. OK, I'll return to the gym, too. Travel? Australia and New Zealand, here I come!

I'll send you all postcards :-)

How I spent the rest of my summer vacation, aka Beadfest 2009

Last month, I decided to register for a couple of classes at the Philadelphia Beadfest. This is an annual beading extravaganza/circus that takes place in late August, at the Valley Forge Convention Center. There were hundreds of vendors and classes, all offering an array of goodies, techniques and projects. It is almost too much to take in during one visit, but a lot of fun. Of course, I told myself, my main reason for going was to learn a couple of new techniques I could incorporate into my own jewelry designs. After all, it was a New Year's commitment, I said. And then I entered the proverbial candy store and went a little nuts.

The 2 classes I took were wonderful, as were the instructors. One class taught a herringbone weaving technique using sterling wire. The other was a full 2-day class in learning to weave fine silver wire into chains. This creates a fine, round chain that could be any length or diameter you decide to make it. Naturally, you are not an expert at either technique when you walk out of class, so now I have more things to practice. Actually, I like this -- and will be able to use both in my own work. So, mission accomplished, or at least underway.

Then there were the vendor floors... I've been to this part of the show before and, always, there is more to buy than I could possibly afford. Still, I managed to inflict major damage to my budget. Now it's time to get to work and make jewelry!

So would I go back to the show again? Oh yes, no doubt about it. In addition to what I learned, I met lots of nice fellow beaders and picked up interesting bits of information about supply sources and more. Also, I learned that following these shows around the country is almost an avocation for some. Always something to aspire to, I suppose, but do wonder when they have time to create anything new.

Of course, I don't have the cash to fund treks across the country and follow the show circuit. And then there is the time element. Several weeks ago, my older son made the mistake of introducing me to an online game called Farm Town. My main goal before leaving for Beadfest was to move up enough levels so that I could afford to plant 4-day crops that would not be ready for harvest until I returned home.

Clearly, it is time for me to return to teaching!!

Road trip reflections

It has been over a month since I last sat down and wrote anything new here. It is difficult to believe so much — and, at the same time, so little — has happened in the interim. Just life, happening, I suppose. Now that I think about it, isn’t that pretty much the way most summers go?

The road trip was lovely. D. and I meandered down quite a few back roads. When those roads crossed middle Tennessee, I was delighted and astonished by her knowledge and memory of people, places and events. Traveling with her during those times was like having my own three-dimensional Fodor’s guide — in the best possible way.

One highlight came on the first day of our trip. We decided to leave I-81 and take Rt. 501, almost a back road, into Lynchburg, VA, for the night. The road we chose turned out to be a grand scale showcase for nature’s magnificence. We crossed the mountain and dropped down toward Lynchburg, taking pretty much the same path as a tumbling river beside the road, while the sun began drifting toward the horizon and trees filtered the light. Such sights fill the senses and remain in memory forever.

Most days combined a little sightseeing and visits with friends, a leisurely way to spend any vacation. Other days were spent retracing our family’s steps through Wartrace to Chattanooga, as well as points west and south. One Sunday, we attended a dear little church built on land donated 150 years ago by our family — many of whom are buried nearby. Lest anyone think we were on the trail of spiritual goodness only, I should mention that we also visited the Jack Daniels Distillery in nearby Lynchburg, TN :-) Basically, this was just a good old-fashioned road trip, combining a basic plan with lots of spur of the moment choices.

There is something deeply rewarding about a trip like this. Even so, it is not my normal vacation, I have to admit. I love grand adventures to faraway places — and am, in fact, planning just such a trip for next year. But there is something very special about revisiting the past. Moving forward is not an option; looking back, especially with someone who shares your family memories, is a gift.

On the road… Summer 2009

Ahhh… the summer road trip. The idea summons fond memories of Jack Kerouac, my aged but trusty VW, winding back roads across Europe, accidental destinations and more than a few romantic wine and cheese picnics along the way. Youth is a marvelous time, and those rambling road trip memories still elicit smiles.

Alas, road trips these days are no longer about romance. But they are still a fun way to escape for a while. Which is what I am about to do. Yippee!

I’m traveling with my cousin, D., and in a few days, we will be on our way to her home state of Tennessee. D. is a great traveling companion — funny, interested in everything along the way and very willing to depart from the plan to explore anything that looks interesting. (Sometimes we get a little carried away exploring unmarked roads, so it’s reassuring that she has OnStar :-)

Right now, the plan is to combine time with family and visits to historical sites with whatever catches our eye and “speaks” to us.  It sounds like a recipe for a great vacation.

Stay tuned…

Mid-year reality check

Way back in January, I came up with what I thought were nine good, basic guidelines for 2009. June seems like an appropriate time to check in on these. How am I doing? Short answer = mixed progress. Evasive answer = about like everyone else, I expect.  Here is the progress check:

1. Pray, meditate, listen and help — I’m trying, but really need to spend more time here, especially working on listening.
   
2. Exercise — Doing more, but not nearly enough. Should apply more energy to doing this and less to creative excuses.
   
3. Eating less — This one is on track. My weight loss is slow, but steady. At this rate, it will take me a couple of years, but that’s OK. After all, it took me more than a decade to put the weight on.
   
4. Read more and watch less on Tivo — Hmmm… let’s move on to something else.
   
5. Finish projects already underway before starting new ones — Seem to have this backwards. Have started and completed several major new projects but the old ones are just shoved further back in my closet.
   
6. Figure out what income I need to retire — Check this one off. Alas, it means I need to work another year, but I can do that.
   
7. Learn a new jewelry technique — Not yet, but that’s all right.
   
8. Tune and play the hammered dulcimer — Ditto.
   
9. Don’t take time or people for granted — Still one dear friend I need and want to call or visit before summer ends.
   

As I said, mixed progress. On the other hand, there are completed projects that were not even on the horizon last January. More pluses = a loving family, good health, a beautiful garden to delight and refresh my spirit, developing friendships with some of my wonderful neighbors, and, always, a deepening gratitude for my new church family.

So far, a fabulous year!

End of the semester instructor's rant

I swear, some day I am going to publish a small book, filled with all the best (and most entertaining) student excuses about unfinished work and poor grades. Perhaps there will be a special foreword/curse for some of those well-intentioned high school teachers who tolerate all manner of sloppy work and unmet deadlines, all in the name of graduation and marching forward into the future.

The future often takes students into a classroom like mine, where the iron gates of personal responsibility close on them at some point. And this happens before they enter the actual world of work, where perpetual excuses are "rewarded" with termination.

Not all students make you crazy. There are many wonderful students — those who are always in class, always prepared, whose work is turned in on time and completed to the best of their ability. For a number of these excellent students, English is not even their first (or third or fifth) language. They are a joy to teach and help keep us sane when deadlines loom.

And then there are the others. All instructors know them well, and each of us has our favorite student excuses. Here are a very few of my personal favorites, all delivered with straight faces and great earnestness. (It should be noted, first, that I teach computer-based design classes, which require many hours of hands-on work, both during and outside of class.)

I think you should change my grade, because:

1. I know I did not turn in any of the projects and failed both exams. But I was here every week. That should count for at least a C.
   
2. I missed the final exam two weeks ago because my mom needed a ride to her friend's house. When can I take a makeup exam?
3. I am an A student, so I don't deserve a C. You need to fix this.
4. My parents will kick me out if I don't pass this course, but you gave me an F. Why? I know I didn't turn in any work, but I could if you give me more time. (There's nothing quite like guilt. On the other hand, I cannot believe the parents waited until the end of the semester to issue this threat.)
5. I read the chapters in the book. But I don't have a computer at home and coming to the labs takes too much time. So I should be exempt from doing any projects.
6. I should not have to revise this project for a better grade. My mom said it was perfect and you should give me an A.
7. I took this class because it was supposed to be easier than [another class]. Now you've ruined my GPA.
8. I couldn't finish the project because I needed to have my nails done. (Other variations include tanning salons, hair stylists, poker games, impromptu trips to the shore, concerts and even Facebook updates.)
9. I don't consider turning in work I found on the internet as cheating. And you shouldn't fail me because I am going to graduate this semester.
10. I came to only 2 classes this semester, but I will lose my student visa and be deported if you don't change my grade. (Yes, I know; that was rather sad. On the other hand, there is such a thing as fraud.)
    

My all-time favorite excuse came early one semester, from two students who were, clearly, a couple. When it became obvious that one was doing the work for both, I told them that they each needed to do their own work. One replied that, as they were practically living together, it shouldn't make any difference who did the work because they were, like, um... you know... one person. My response was that they were free to do that, of course, and I would simply divide the grade received equally between them. Or, option two, they could each do their own work. The brighter half of the couple realized instantly that dividing the grade meant they would both fail the course. They let me know I had violated their life principles and withdrew from the class.

Sigh. I wonder were they all are now?