Those darn squirrels!

Without a doubt, squirrels are about the most enterprising comedians in the animal world, but... is there anyone with a bird feeder who has not despaired when greedy squirrels devour ALL the seed intended for hungry birds?

Many folks have tried to devise the ultimate squirrel-proof solution. A dozen different types of bird feeders, all advertised as impossible for squirrels to defeat, are available online and in the local nature emporiums. This year, I succumbed to one. Surely, I thought, a feeder endorsed by both the National Geographic Society and the British Trust for Ornithology would keep the critters out of the seed. Just for good measure, I invested in a bag of very expensive bird seed, treated with something squirrels would find abhorrent.

After setting up my ultimate squirrel solution feeder, I started peeking from my kitchen window to see what would happen. For several weeks, nothing. Oh, the squirrels found the feeder right away, but seemed unable to penetrate its defense system. Whenever I opened the back door, they started scolding me. So I chucked a few walnuts in their general direction. Now they expect nuts. There can't be anything good about rodents that look to you as a primary food source.

So there were squirrels, but... where were all the pretty little finches? One week went by, then another. And another. No birds at all. Perhaps they did not like the expensive treated seed any better than the squirrels. OK, a trip to my local grocery store for ordinary sunflower seed should fix that, I thought. I mixed both types of seed together and refilled the feeder. Finally, a few finches showed up and bellied right up for a meal. Then a few more came. And more, and still more. They liked all the seed. The squirrels could not get into the feeder and the finches were here. Yippee!

Of course, it was too good to last. Yesterday morning, I looked out and saw a squirrel, balanced upside down on the base of my new feeder. He couldn't get in, but had discovered how to rock the feeder enough to scatter some seeds for the benefit of his fellow furry scavengers, waiting below. In no time at all, they emptied my expensive, tamper-proof feeder.

Best not to complain. At a friend's home, the darn critters dangled from gutters to reach her feeder, then managed to knock down and shatter the entire squirrel-proof apparatus. Wouldn't it be great to be born with that much stubborn perseverance and inventive cleverness?

Meanwhile, I will just sigh quietly and keep refilling the feeder. But I haven't given up yet. Today, I added a suet holder suspended from the base of the feeder -- both as an added treat for the birds and a deterrent for, well, you know. Take that, squirrels!